Holiday Haze

I never know how to approach the holidays. It’s sometimes very difficult and heartbreaking to contemplate that all I want to do is skip them all together. This year isn’t any different but, the thought of skipping them would most likely have my kids confused beyond belief, probably because they once knew a mom who embraced the holidays with a passion.

It all began in my house when I was growing up. We had large celebrations with lots of relatives. We had food, presents, and fun. That all came crashing down when my parents divorced. I yearned to have that style of celebration once again for my children. The big glitch was, we aren’t close in proximity or even close emotionally to one another as we once were.

That being said, my wanting and willing to try and carry on the family holiday in a style that made wonderful memories was huge. I wanted to relive my childhood through my children’s eyes.

Some of the ways I have done this was to decorate the house to make it look festive and play the music that I loved and still love to hear. I also make sure the movies I once watched are shown and make sure the kids have their favorites too.

I have gone to such lengths as celebrating in non-traditional places also. We have spent time at Disneyland, The Hotel Del Coronado and other distant far off lands.

I believe all of this searching for the perfect holiday is due to being in a constant state of flux. The striving to figure out what “normal” is. I think this stems from suffering tragedy; you try everything under the sun.

The good news is that with trying all these new ways to celebrate the holidays, my  girls are now hinting as to how they want to spend their holidays whether it be at Disneyland or somewhere else other than home. They have also mentioned “home” would be nice too, where it is the three of us and if people want to join in and drop on by that’s an added bonus. The door is always open.

I have learned through the years from the many friends that have reached out and new friends that have been made, love is the one thing that always stands out. It’s always the love that you project to others in times of need.

You’re probably wondering why my post is a bit of the sad mixed with the happy. It goes to show what an emotional roller-coaster one rides due to a life altering event. It’s learning how to take the good and the bad and make the most of all situations. It’s the love you learn that is out there to be had too.

All in all, I’ve been blessed with a life that is constantly changing.

All parts of living … The Butterfly Element


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